Let’s be real - it can be the most wonderful of the most stressful time of the year.
A lot of people go through a mix of experiences and feelings around the holidays. The weather is colder, and your list of obligations can be a little intimidating, from awkward office parties to trying to find the perfect gift for everyone on your list.
In fact, nearly nine out of 10 U.S. adults say they experience higher levels of stress during the holiday season compared to other times of year, according to a poll by the American Psychological Association.
However you’re feeling this season, know that it’s valid - and in the spirit of acknowledging these challenges, Grace & Grind’s most recent episode provides a few small tips to help you face the season with confidence.
Etiquette coach and podcast host Dr. Pamala Brown-Grinion shares how we can show up with grace, respect, and kindness — not just for ourselves but for everyone around us. 💛
Rather listen than read?
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Key Points:
Understanding holiday stress and its triggers 🧠
Rules for attending holiday gatherings 🎉
Thoughtful gift-giving 🎁
Managing expectations and respecting boundaries 💛
🥂 RSVP Responsibly
Before you even arrive at a holiday gathering, the golden rule is this: RSVP—and stick to it! If you didn’t RSVP, don’t show up. Hosts put a lot of love into planning, and surprise guests can throw things off.
Here’s the deal:
RSVP promptly
Show up with the right number of people
Bring a thoughtful hostess gift (candles, wine, or flowers are great—but make sure they’re appropriate!)
This small effort shows you respect the host’s time and effort. ❤️
🎁 Give Gifts Without Strings Attached
Gift-giving can be tricky, but here’s the secret: it’s not about how much you spend. If you’re not exchanging gifts this year, let people know early. And if you give someone a gift, don’t expect one back.
Pro tip: If someone says, “Oh, I didn’t get you anything!” just smile and say, “That’s okay! I just wanted to share something special with you.” It’s not a trade—it’s about spreading joy.
⏰ Show Up On Time (and Dressed Right!)
Every holiday party has its own vibe - so, honor the theme. Be thoughtful about what you wear and take care with your appearance.
“Please dress appropriately. If this is a holiday pajama party, please do not show up in attire that's not practical or appropriate for a PJ party. Or if it's a holiday sweater party, please do not show up in evening attire.
Respect the theme that the host or hostess has put together for you.” - Dr. Pamala
When it comes to timing, arriving 15 minutes after the start time is the sweet spot. It gives the host those last precious moments to prepare while keeping you fashionably punctual.
💬 Connect Without Controversy
At gatherings, introduce yourself to new people and catch up with old friends. But leave the heavy topics—like politics, religion, or gossip—at the door. The holidays are about connection, not debate. Keep it light, fun, and festive!
💛 Respect Everyone’s Holiday Spirit (or Lack of It)
Here’s the truth: not everyone celebrates—or feels—the holidays the same way. Some people are dealing with trauma, grief, or stress. Others may simply want to skip the decorations and gatherings this year. And that’s okay!
Holiday traditions or simply the smell of pine trees may evoke memories of lost loved ones or amplify feelings of loneliness and financial insecurity.
Don’t force holiday cheer or expect others to match your festive energy. If someone says “no” to an invite, respect it. Extend grace and let them show up (or not) in their own way. 🌟
Whether it's the absence of a Christmas tree, choosing not to attend religious services, granting others the freedom to experience the holidays authentically can alleviate undue stress.
Mental Health advocate and peer Kelly Marie has 5 essential tools for managing expectations while dealing with mental health conditions.
Check out her timeless tips on the Healthy Illness Podcast.
🛋️ Embrace Your Own Traditions
The best part of the holidays? Making them uniquely yours. Whether you love Christmas movie marathons, cozy nights by the fire, or starting new traditions, lean into what feels good for you. This season is about joy—your version of it.
What are your favorite holiday traditions? Or maybe you’ve got a tip for managing the season’s stress?
Drop a comment below—I’d love to hear from you! And if this post resonated with you, share it with your friends or family. Let’s spread some holiday cheer together.
🔔 Follow the Grace + Grind Podcast for more tips on living gracefully and authentically, no matter the season.
Wishing you all a holiday season filled with respect, love, and light! ✨
Thank you! This time of year is always so stressful for me now that I have kids.